How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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