Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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