just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
