Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize