I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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