is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
