After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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