i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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