I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize