Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize