After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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