Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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