I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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