I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
