Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
its not stalking. its research.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
