I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
