i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
