i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just invented taco cereal.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
