You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize