so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
