wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
