I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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