i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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