you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
