Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
