How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
