chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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