I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize