we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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