We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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