This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
