the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize