Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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