Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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