he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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