Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I smell stomach acid.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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