I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
tell me about the eggs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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