What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
