i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
