we have officially lost it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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