dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
