Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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