I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
