So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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