hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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