Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
