It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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