I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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