We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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