I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
