I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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