you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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