I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
