While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
