ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's never too late to be topless.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
