Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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