? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
