This house was built for laser tag.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
