Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
