People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
