...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
