i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
