i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
