hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
