drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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