I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
