god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
